What is bullying?

Children who are being bullied may be embarrassed and not want to talk about it. Be aware of the signs that your child is being bullied so you can help resolve the problem.

If your child is being bullied, they may:

• Have physical injuries. Bruises, cuts, scrapes, and scratches are common.
• "Lose" items frequently. Bullying often includes taking belongings or stealing lunch money or prepared lunches. Your child may come home from school without favorite toys, clothes, or other items. Your child may also come home very hungry from having missed lunch.
• Sleep poorly and develop frequent headaches, stomachaches, and other physical problems. Or your child may pretend to be sick or make other excuses to avoid certain people or situations.
• Cry frequently or act differently. For example, a usually outgoing child may suddenly become withdrawn and sad. A shy child may become overactive and aggressive.
• Bully others. These children often respond to being bullied by feeling anxious and aggressive. Without knowing how to handle these feelings, they target other children who they think will not fight back.
• Not speak or show fear when certain people or situations are mentioned.
• Suddenly receive lower grades or develop learning problems.
• Talk about suicide.

Children who are bullied are not to blame for attacks against them. Make sure your child understands this.

Where to get help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

If your child talks about suicide, self-harm, a mental health crisis, a substance use crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress, get help right away. You can:

• Call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
• Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
• Text HOME to 741741 to access the Crisis Text Line.

Consider saving these numbers in your phone.

Go to 988lifeline.org for more information or to chat online.

Schools play a critical role in stopping bullying, because most aggression happens on school grounds during recess, in lunch rooms, or in bathrooms. Schools should have and enforce zero-tolerance programs that make it clear that bullying won't be tolerated.

School-based programs can help reduce bullying when they:

• Raise awareness of bullying. This can be done through school assemblies and classroom discussions of the problem. These should include teaching healthy ways to control anger. They should also teach the value of cooperation, positive communication skills, and friendship.
• Have peers help settle an incident. They can also talk with all students involved.
• Increase parents' and teachers' involvement.
• Increase supervision of children on school grounds. This is very important when they are out of the classroom.
• Form clear rules about behavior that will not be tolerated.
• Provide support and protection for children who are bullied.

You can help your child's school develop bullying policies by becoming involved in parent-teacher organizations (PTO or PTA) and by volunteering to help teachers.

In the classroom, teachers should make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated. Teachers must be prepared to follow through with consequences if bullying occurs. Doing so sends the message that adults are serious about the problem. It also encourages children who are not involved in bullying to report any problems they see.

Conferences can be held—separately or together—with the parents of both children involved in bullying incidents.

School-based programs are one piece of a larger plan to help children understand the importance of treating one another with kindness and respect.

Bullying is acting in ways that scare or harm another person. Kids who bully usually pick on someone who is weaker or more alone, and they repeat the actions over and over. Bullying can happen at school, on the bus, in the neighborhood, by text, or online. Using technology to bully is called cyberbullying.

The types of bullying include:

• Physical. This can be things like hitting, shoving, or tripping.
• Emotional. This may include making fun of the way a child acts, looks, or talks.
• Social. This can be things like excluding someone from a group, spreading rumors, sending hurtful messages or pictures in texts, emails, or online.

Emotional and social bullying doesn't leave bruises, but the damage is just as real.

Bullying is a serious problem for all children involved. Kids who are bullied are more likely to feel bad about themselves and be depressed. They may have physical symptoms like an upset stomach. And they may fear or lose interest in going to school.

Kids who bully others are more likely to drop out of school, have drug and alcohol problems, and break the law.

If you think your child is being bullied—or is bullying someone else—take action to stop the abuse.